I once rotated with a Radiologist from a modest background, as was her Gastroenterologist husband. Originally Indian citizens, they were now emblematic of the American dream: residing in an affluent area, privately educated children, and the ability to travel and explore interests fully.
She spoke of how they socialized with two distinct groups — one resonated with their past and the other was in keeping with their present. When I inquired if there was a preference of company, there was a pause. She described how the women of the former set would flock to the kitchen after dinner where exhaustive talk of suitable Tupperware abounded. Preferring a more notable end, she refrained from joining and remained with more interesting conversations amongst the men. I realized my parent’s hosting shared the same fate, and was inspired to prevent a recapitulation. Thus my foray was Shyla’s first birthday party where hired help prevented friends from being uprooted or obliged.

This bore to mind when attending a child’s birthday party, dinner at my neighbor’s and a baptism of twins. At the birthday, grandparents maintained order; our neighbor’s brother-in-laws were stationed in the kitchen; and the baptism’s execution was facilitated by an entourage of relatives. It was fascinating to observe the self-directed assistance paying credence to family coming together. Realizing that in thwarting this type of generosity was I in essence preventing familial ties from developing?

featured image: Batatyachi Chaal by Priyanka Karyekar (L) source; the culture gallery (R) source; Rastah/photographer, Rabia Ayub