Tag Archives: kids

Respect

“Don’t say ‘uncle’ just call me Ashok!”  I shuddered every time I heard this as Indians refrain from addressing their elder’s by name. 

The notion of respect is deeply entrenched in South Asian culture. Every relationship is given a title of veneration. This reverence is not limited to people but also transcends onto inanimate objects: money, food, books and divine images topped the hierarchy creating a parallel caste system.
As children, if any were treated recklessly, we were admonished and required to touch the object with our forehead to absolve ourselves.

I once read how in India there was a residential building whose sidewall had become a makeshift urinal. Unbearable pungent odors led the inhabitants to place prohibiting signs in vain. Only when the trifecta of Hindu gods –Bramha Vishnu & Shiva, were painted did the dual use of the wall cease. It remains to be determined whether respect or fear was the driving force.

feature image: Perception and Reflection by Rana Begum’s, source; Art-agenda /Comprised entirely of reflectors, her work describes our ever-evolving built environment. Inspired by the straightforward patterns and vibrant colors of roadsigns and the way in which their surfaces shift as the day progresses, these works too shift and change as light exposure varies and as viewers walk around them. above image: photograph by Steve McCurry


This year, we celebrated the auspicious penultimate day of Navratri with friends.
What became apparent was our fallacy in assuming (recently) naturalized Americans would have a thorough knowledge of religious and cultural rites. I started to recognize the breakdown in the transmission of information from one generation to the next.

Recalling how after 25 years, when Sri returned to Sri Lanka, he hoped to learn why consuming meat on Fridays was disdained. Much to his chagrin he discovered no-one knew; generations had yielded without questioning.
I began to consider that perhaps when respect is mandated, a divide may manifest, impeding conversation and preventing vertical integration.

One afternoon while on the front lawn of our new home, a neighbor approached us and Shyla exclaimed, ‘that’s Sashi!’ As she drew closer, I noticed she was about my mother’s age and I whispered ‘Sweetie say Sashi aunty’ and she persisted ‘Sashi!’ Could dropping the honorifics break down barriers?

(L) Three Women by Jamini Roy (1887-1972), source; British museum / This particular work is one of Roy’s iconic images: that of Bengali women. Roy is critical to any narrative of the development of modern Indian art in the early 20th C when there was a frantic search for roots and identity. Roy turned away from prevailing styles and looked back to the visual stimuli of his childhood: the folk arts of Bengal. He used this storehouse of forms to create a new pictorial language, irrevocably Indian in execution and feeling, yet simultaneously modern in its treatment of the two-dimensional reality of the picture plane (M) piece by Maria Qamar, source; hatecopy (R) In Myanmar, Colgate prints interactive educational information in toothpaste boxes design by; redfuse and Young & Rubicam, source; border and fall

Guests

Growing up traveling in the Indian context was quite different. Neither Film festivals, culinary experiences, nor art exhibitions determined vacation destinations; in fact, what held the most clout was where extended family resided. This was the norm. Living in a niche city such as Toronto, my parent’s home was and still emulates a subway turn stall. Consequently, I was continuously displaced from my room, and at one point, sought refuge at University of Toronto’s dormitory. There is a Hindi proverb that plays on the rhyming words of ‘guest’ and ‘god’ (Mehman Bhagwan hota hai) localizing them as one. Thus easing the parental conscious for having their child’s room usurped.

Our home was void of hotel luxuries and conveniences and yet we were always at full occupancy. I was amazed at how anyone appreciated this style of ‘traveling’. One might even speculate why real estate board’s hadn’t developed packages brokering houses juxtaposed to one another; one for the family and another for the plethora of visitors.

A Western mentality had taken over my Indian sensibilities. For It was customary during weddings to have basements converted to hostels for out-of-towners. And despite having one bathroom for every five people, no one based their overall enjoyment upon this. It seemed the more one shared their truer self the happier they were.

(feature image) Jaipur’s, Panna Meena Ka Kund by Melissa Hom, source, the culture gully /stepwell (L) Churchgate Station in Mumbai by Sebastião Salgado, source, Christie’s /Artspace: For his Migrations series, Sebastião Salgado poetically documented population growth and displacement around the globe. Here, commuting masses collide on the platform of one of Mumbai’s major transportation hubs, the Churchgate Station. (M) people watching a wrestling match by Poras Chaudhary /…has been intrigued by the visually striking moments, may they be special for their color, composition or just the moment’s rarity in time. (R) “Last Super” by Vivek Vilasini, source, invaluable /The Times of India reported, brings forth contemporary global concerns on the issues of faith and betrayal-even as he blends western and eastern nuances in iconography. The Kathakali dancers create a choreography of sorts, as sit at the table with the traditional banana leaf and typical Kerala sadya.


The opposite also appeared to be true. Last autumn in France a recently immigrated Indian woman summed up Parisian life as ‘too much formality.’ With disdain she spoke of having ‘to book an appointment’ to see a friend. She lamented the absence of spontaneity and begrudgingly succumbed to convenient prescribed meetings.

I’ve come to realize these aggregated inconveniences are what foster bonds. Make-shift beds, a dining table for six equipping twelve, and intimate audible squabbles all serve to make one feel truly comfortable. Perhaps this is an evolutionary vestige of a deep seeded need to live communally.

We have noticed some introversion in Shyla. Socially, at first she remains sidelined, assessing, before delving in, which can last up to two hours. When finally we are ready to depart, she engages. Then it dawned on me—maybe her natural Indian predisposition manifests not in needing frequency, but rather concentration.